Month: August 2019

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Treat Me Nicely

On Christmas Day, 1994, my Grandmother had a stroke. When we got the call, we of course jumped in the car and drove the 40 minutes to the hospital. Once there, we visited with her, got the download from the nurses. Then, we sat in the hospital room in silence for a long time.  We listened to the dripping of the IV and the tone of the heart monitor.  Mom and Dad left no more than a half hour after they arrived. They went to the house to see how Grandpa was and to check if he wanted to come to the hospital. Still weak from his own surgery and hospitalization, Grandpa couldn’t drive.  Grandma and I were alone .

Nurse Mary came in. She handed Grandma two blue sheets of paper stapled together. “Adeline, have you thought of a living will? It is a statement of how you want to be treated.  Federal law requires that I ask you about it and provide you with information.  It is just a statement of how you want to be treated.” “Nicely,” Grandma said. “I want to be treated nicely.” I felt my chest tighten and a tear swell up in my eye. “Nicely,” she said again. “I’ll have the chaplain come by tomorrow and talk to you about it.” Nurse Mary left.

Grandma looked at the paper on her tray. Then she handed it to me. “You look at it.” Her eyes had grown weak from diabetes and she had difficulty reading anything with small print.  I took the blue sheets from her. I read them over. They asked her to consider her values and life. Did she want her life to be prolonged by artificial means if there was no other way she could live? Did she want to donate her organs? I told Grandma all of this. “Nicely” was enough.

Those few words have stuck with me, Treat Me Nicely. What a great message for leaders. The other day, I wasn’t treated nicely. I was called out at a meeting with many people for something in my mind is simple, easily corrected with a little kindness and conversation. The worst part, is it was our general manager for the division. Not cool boyfriend. Not cool.

I think sometimes those in the highest leadership positions forget the impact their words and actions can have. In many organizations, the face-to-face interaction an executive may have with a person is short. If they aren’t thinking I need to make a strong, powerful impact in this short moment to motivate, inspire and lead, they are missing an opportunity.

I understand life and business moves fast and can be stressful. But, in those moments it is even more important to step back, take a breath and be thoughtful with our choice of words. Yet, I find the simple practices of kindness, humility and service to others are absent in today’s leadership teachings. Maybe it is my company, but maybe not.

It seems like the leadership philosophy today is dependent on command/control, the hierarchy and “trickle down” to bring a strategy to life. And yet, so few leaders with whom I interact are taking the time to bring out the best in their people. What is most concerning is, it isn’t hard to inspire people. Be kind. Be honest. Be courageous enough to talk to people 1:1 when there is an issue. Help him or her work toward a solution, rather than complain about the problem.

Leading isn’t as hard as people make it. Leading is basic human decency. It is as simple as my Grandma made it, treat me nicely.

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Be a Trash Collector

My Dad never had a college diploma, a corner office with a door. Nor did he ever have a fancy title. But I learned a lot from him about leadership by listening to him speak about how he was managed.

“The garbage man means more to me than some CEO.” I understand that. CEOs come and go, but if the trash at the curb isn’t picked up on week, it attracts all sorts of vermin – mice, rats, flies, raccoons. The list goes on.

I once read that communications with employees should be results-driven, strategically focused and speak to the measurable results. It is about telling your team what they need to know to do their jobs and work with customers effectively. Do you know what I say to that? Bullshit. 

Throughout my career, I’ve had the opportunity of working with executives while I held various titles. I started as an executive assistant, served as the head for corporate communications and worked with executives who were the president or general managers of a business. In each position, I’ve counselled and worked with executives on their internal communications, never more closely than I was an executive assistant. And, let’s face, executive assistants are the real advisers to any executive. They not only have access to the executive, they have his/her unwavering trust. They have to. Few things can be kept from the executive assistant in order for him/her to the job effectively.

I can say that after working with executives for over 20 years, their communications should never be about business results, but should be about about the people. But, when they stand in front of the group, they tell business results, talk about strategy, and key initiatives. They may provide some recognition, it is usually about a big win.  

I’ve worked close enough with these executives that in their minds they know the true differentiation for the business is their people. Yet, they have a tough time releasing that potential. They feel it is more important to tell the “State of the Union” then to inspire the team by painting a vision and building a culture which will sustain the success. Often, it can come across as cold, unauthentic and downright inhuman – another talking head.

I call the type of leadership that inspires and calls out the best in people Blue Collar Leadership TM. Blue Collar Leadership is getting out of the corner office and onto the production floor or walking through the maze of cubicles. Dad liked it when his boss knew how to do his job, or enough to at least give him some credibility when speaking to the team. Those leaders speak plainly and honestly. They were transparent about reality. They don’t call problems “opportunities” – they call a spade a spade, honoring the intelligence and street smarts of the people.

These types of executives build genuine connections and care for the people who get shit done every day. They recognize it isn’t the person who is in the office, but on the floor or pounding the streets who is aware of the issues, potential solutions and is willing to go the extra yard to make it happen. In part, because it will make his/her job easier. Yet, I also believe those are the people who want to help others. They aren’t looking for the next rung up the ladder, they are up and down that ladder everyday, lending a helping hands to others and they make things happen.

Throw out all you’ve read about “executive presence” or fancy MBA speak. Stop talking results and initiatives. Get real. Get honest. Get dirty. Remember, the trash collector is more important than a CEO. Be a trash collector.